Small Church Rocked by Ginger Beer Scandal

Flint, MI -- Only 6 months ago, First Day Wesleyan Church hired the first youth pastor in their 80-year history. "This is a brand new experience for my church," said long-time Senior Pastor, Brent Michaels. "I mean, we've had people from the congregation fill in here and there through the years. But we've never had a full-time staff member who is trained specifically to work with the yutes," Michaels relates through is thick Michigan accent. "We were very excited--can you blame us?"

Indeed, the church was excited when Josh Kellers, a recent graduate of Oklahoma Wesleyan University and major in Youth Ministry, accepted the call. "Josh was full of energy, good ideas--he was ready and raring to go," said Ishmael Fernandez, a new member to the church's 8 person Local Board of Administration.

According to sources, the first 6 months of Keller's ministry to the youth of First Day Wesleyan were full of promise and success. Michaels noted that 7 teens had "received Jesus," 3 had become entirely sanctified, and 1 or 2 expressed interest in becoming full-time ministers in The Wesleyan Church. "The days were full of promise--very exciting. We were actually looking forward to the future," Michaels reflectively notes, "until it happened."

The it to which Michaels refers is a scandal that has rocked this little holiness church to the core. As witnesses note, one Saturday night Kellers entered the local Meijer, supposedly to buy groceries. However, that was not all that he bought. Ms. Melinda Noisewater, wife to the longest standing member on the board, witnessed the entire event: "I saw Josh pushing his shopping cart full of groceries to the checkout stand. I was only a couple of registers away, so I watched him as he unloaded his groceries. Suddenly, I saw him pull out..." Ms. Noisewater stops suddenly, as if the shock is still prescient, but continues, "He pulled out that evil devil drink--beer."

The "beer" to which Ms. Noisewater was referring turned out to be Stewart's brand Ginger Beer, "a true Jamaican-style Ginger Beer with a zesty pepper flavor." Interestingly enough, Stewart's Ginger Beer is entirely alcohol-free. However, before Kellers even realized what was happening, Ms. Noisewater was on the prayer chain hotline, and within seconds the story of Keller's immorality was known by all.

When Kellers arrived at the office at 10:00 a.m. the next morning, he was greeted outside by Michaels. Inside, Kellers could see several of the Quilting Ministry ladies, as well as a few grey hairs from the Missions Committee. They all stared at him with furious expressions. Michaels explained that they were there demanding Kellers' resignation. When Kellers tried to defend his innocence, Michaels interrupted him: "Josh, I'm sorry. The Bible says we--well, in this case, you--are to eschew the very appearance of evil. You should have eschewed. You're fired."

After several attempts, Kellers was successfully contacted for comment. When asked his opinion of the scandal and fallout from his penchant for zesty Jamaican drinks, Kellers simply replied, "I don't see what the big deal is. There wasn't even any alcohol in it, and I didn't give it to any of the kids. It's not like I was dancing..."

A year after the scandal, the church is still healing. Michaels notes, "There is still a big feeling of shock and disappointment in the church. Trust has been broken. People can't believe that such filth would come from OWU. Honestly, they just feel betrayed. I don't know if we'll be getting a new youth pastor anytime soon. There is still a lot of fallout that has to be worked through."