Strangely Warmed

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Purpose-Driven© Wesleyan Church Leaves Denomination, Signs Movie Deal

ROJA VALLEY, CA-- Roja Valley Wesleyan Church, located in California’s beautiful Roja Valley, adjacent to the world-known Silicon Valley, became the last evangelical church to become Purpose Driven© by completing the 40 Days of Purpose©. Evangelical leaders hailed this landmark day as ‘historic’, ‘exciting’, and the ‘beginning of a great move of God before the last days.’ John Thaner, Senior Pastor of Roja Valley Wesleyan, certainly joins in the chorus.

“We are just so excited to have finally taken this beginning step into becoming a church that God can use in this generation. In the past we have held to traditional doctrines like the second work and entire sanctification, but to be honest, it hasn’t gotten many butts in the seats. Now we have a purpose, and we’re going to show California what Christianity is all about.”

The Purpose Driven Church©, written by Saddleback Church© pastor and founder Rick Warren©, is essentially a field guide to growing bigger churches. But it is The Purpose Driven Life©, written more for the laity, that is the implementation of The Purpose Driven Church©. In the program, all church members go through 40 Days of Purpose© in which they find that their faith© and life© up until that point has been purposeless©, and that until they identify within their lives the core principles of The Purpose Driven Life©, they cannot hope to be either a meaningful human being© or an effective witness© in their community.

“We’re finally beginning to see the path that God© wants for us,” Thaner explains. “At first we were hesitant. I mean, my congregation consists primarily of intelligent, well-educated, upwardly mobile professionals. When I first gave them the book, they balked at its mediocre writing, as well as its simplistic premises. But as we got to Day 25©, we began to think differently. We saw how it had helped Saddleback© become what it is today- a massive church that through its sheer size influences the world. Well, that got the competitive spirit in my professionals going; now, we really have something to shoot for.”

“We realize that once we have killer music, a cappuccino bar, and the pastoral staff in khakis and Hawaiian shirts, we’re really going to reach the seekers© in our community for Christ.”

Already, Roja Valley has tripled in attendance from 250 to 750 within the first month of completing the 40 Days©. But with an increase in size, there comes the corollary increase in denominational dues. Because of wanting to devote more resources to cutting-edge technology, Roja Valley decided to officially break its denominational ties.

“It was a tough decision,” Thaner laments, “but a necessary one. It was either ‘pay the denominational dues’ or ‘hire a professional band.’ When it comes down to winning souls, you know where we’re going to be going.”

This move has even caught the eye of the movie industry, and within three months a new release based on the events of Roja Valley Wesleyan Church will be distributed to theatres nationwide. Entitled “Saddleback Mountain”, the film will showcase the drama of a church wanting to be faithful to its denomination, but struggling to define itself and its true love for the seeker sensitive movement. Hailed by critics as ‘Powerful’, ‘Touching’, ‘A testament to the human spirit’, ‘A sweeping emotional drama’, ‘Courageous’ and “The film of the year’, “Saddleback Mountain” may redefine the relationship of the church to the film industry.

In Roja Valley, things couldn’t be better.

“We’re just excited about where we are going. It’s going to take a lot of hard work; we will have to sell a lot of mocha lattes, I’ll have to buy a lot of khakis, but we all have sacrifices to make in the spread the Gospel©. One thing I know, however, is that now that we have a purpose©, and with The Purpose Driven Life© as our guide, we can’t go wrong.”

6 Comments:

At 3:57 PM , Blogger Exist-Dissolve said...

Captain--

You are quite possibly one of the sexiest men alive.

 
At 6:11 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was brilliant.

 
At 11:51 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ich denke, dass es weise ist, Wörter urheberrechtlich zu schützen, wie "Glaube," "Leben," und "Zweck", weil niemand weiß, was sie sowieso bedeuten. Ach, und Georg, beruhigt hinunter. Abweichende Mönch versuchte nur, seine Aufgabe zu machen.

 
At 12:01 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Es tut ich Leid, wenn Sie von meinen Bemerkungen beleidigt wurden. Ich habe gedacht, dass dies ein Forum war, in den alle offen sprechen könnten.

 
At 11:21 AM , Blogger Unknown said...

The posted image looks like Tony Soprano.

 
At 11:14 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you people for real?

I am so so so amazed. Wierded out. What is happening to the church!?!

 

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