Corruption, Extortion Behind Wesleyan Talent Contest

Bartlesville – It’s a sweltering mid-August day in northeastern Oklahoma, nothing unusual for 3rd and 4th year students at Oklahoma Wesleyan University. In front of the towering chapel sprawls a makeshift stage strewn with monitors, microphone stands and speaker cords. Filling the chairs below are sweating, nervous junior high and highschool students. Some jump around excitedly, others sit entirely still----all with complete attention fixed upon the stage.

To wild applause, 16 year-old Miranda Williams walks to the front of the stage. With one hand she reaches for a microphone while the other brushes back her shoulder-length sandy blonde hair, the ends sticking to her fingers from a collusion of hair spray and thick humidity. As the crowd waits in rapt anticipation, a cacophony of sound emerges from the speakers, and Miranda sings in perfect unison. After two-minutes of melodic bliss, the track ends. The crowd—left breathless for a few moments—erupts in rapturous applause.

The scene described above is commonplace within the Wesleyan Church. Since the days of the teenage singing exhibitions organized by Charles Wesley to the present, Wesleyan teenagers have entered Teens-N-Talent (TNT), a program designed for students with various performance skills to have the opportunity to secure scholarships good at any one of the nearly half-dozen Wesleyan colleges in North America.

This is all ancient history now, however. A series of denomination-wide investigations, reaching to the highest levels of ecclesial government, have uncovered a culture of extortion, bribery and racketeering that has permeated the entire TNT system, a web of corruption not unlike that of the Mafias that plagued early 20th century American cities.

Danny Emmonds, the lead investigator, explained the impetus for the investigation:

“Over the history of TNT, the leadership has received a lot of complaints about the competitions, specifically regarding the caliber–or lack thereof–of those who would win. Practically everyone in the Wesleyan Church knew that TNT was–let’s be blunt–a crock, but no one could quite figure out why it was that way.”

Lowering his tone, Emmonds continued, soberly:

“As we started digging a little bit, however, we started to see a trend. On the whole, the winners every year were consistently from influential families within the denomination, had parents who were well-connected to the judges, or were children of movers-and-shakers on various LBA’s. Early on, TNT winner’s were just “judges’ pets,” or kids with recognizable last names. However, as we traced the history a bit more, an uglier, more depraved picture began to form. As the years went by, the level of competition steadily increased----this is isn’t hard to explain, for the level of competition seems to correlate almost exactly with the rate of tuition increases in Wesleyan colleges. Because of this, it became harder and harder to just make it through on their names alone, so some ‘families’ started taking more extreme measures.”

When pressed to describe these “extreme measures,” Emmonds grew silent. Although he would not provide specific names, Emmonds, after significant provocation, did give an idea of the level of corruption:

“Over the history of TNT, thousands of dollars have exchanged hands as judges have been bought to secure a certain outcome. One judge was flown to the Caribbean for the weekend and, not surprisingly, voted for a highschool junior—she just happened to be the daughter of a local travel agent. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. About 10 years ago, one pastor found out about the extortion and tried to stop it. Three weeks before TNT began, an emergency session of the LBA found him to be incompetent to continue leading his church for what was officially labeled “personal infidelities.” To our shock, the District Superintendent called the special session. Later that month, his son won the scholarship.”

Emmonds was clearly most uncomfortable, however, when asked about the “family wars” that marked a particularly brutal part of TNT’s history. In broken phrases interrupted by a saddened nod of his head, Emmonds described the horror:

“I remember finding out about the Johnson’s and the Jones’ [the reader will note that these names are pseudonymous] feud. Each family had four children identical in age who competed against each other in TNT over the course of 10 years. At first, their competition was harmless enough—the fathers slung insults at each other while the mothers gossiped about each other. However, as the years went on, and the parents began realizing how expensive it was going to be to send all four of their children to Wesleyan colleges, the competition turned to violence. For instance, the night before Billy Johnson’s performance, the Johnson dog was found stuffed on the Johnson’s front porch. For those unfamiliar with mafia-folklore, this was clearly a sign of a serious threat. Not surprisingly, Billy withdrew from the competition.”

Shaken by the revelation of the depths of the scandal, the Wesleyan leadership is anxious to put this undesirable past behind the denomination. To facilitate this image make-over, the age-old tradition of Teens-N-Talent has been abolished and replaced with "Campus Challenge." Although very similar in format to TNT, the winners of Campus Challenge are based upon the votes of the live audience, rather than upon the subjective and saleable opinions of the judges. Although not free from the potential for continued corruption, the Wesleyan leadership is confident that the new voting structure will mitigate significantly against corruption. As one District Superintendent quipped, “What, are they gonna bribe the whole crowd? It’d cost more than the scholarship is worth, believe me!”

To kick off the inaugural Campus Challenge, the Wesleyan Church has spared no expense. This first Campus Challenge will prove to be a memorable one, featuring guest judge Simon Cowell of American Idol fame, a live performance by Shakira, and a magic-spectacular by Siegfried and Roy, sans Roy.